I wrote this quite a while ago when I was in school. It embodied quite a lot of what I was feeling at the time with respect to the different directions my life was being pulled by the people around me. I include it here because it was the turning point in my life with respect to writing stuff down and sharing it with people.
Me, myself, but not I
The young control me And tell me what to know and do My peers either hate me, or find me a curiosity. My abilities always pale in their light, Or so they think Until I am needed, when, falsely of course, I am entrusted, used & discarded; an empty shell. Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... I have a place to be alone & cry! I have a place where I don't have to try! There is no perverted need for me to comply! For I control, and yet I am controlled, My life is ruled where I rule, Myself, I exist only in me, only in me... Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... My OWN thoughts, are not My OWN life, is not My inner sanctum, my inviolate self, is not. All expect, none satisfied! All desire, no congratulations! All this is me, and yet, is NOT! Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... All my life, my thoughts, my love. All my control, my discipline, my peace. All this is in one place, All this is in my mind. For in others' I am NOT! Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... I pose no threat, and so offer only frivolity. I have nothing to offer, I am TOLD! And yet, others tell me of my important place... This place is myself, and I am desired, Yet simultaneously, I revolt & repel. I AM desired, yet suppressed! Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... The young control by subtlety, Others overpower, The nuances of a life are lost to the general grey, My freedom is suppressed, society controls that which WAS me. Society degrades that which WAS me. I am NOT! Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... Ridicule, or hate. Hate, or love. Love, or desire. Desire, or Mocking. Mocking, full circle, Ridicule. This is the life I lead, this is NOT my life. Is this what you want from me? All this pain and hidden fear... ...Because this is all that's left of me...