Orchestration, a cry for help
Over the past few years, a plethora of orchestration frameworks have been exploding onto the scene. Many have been around for quite a while but not all have the same sort of community behind them. For example there's a very interesting option in Joey Hess' Propellor but that is hurt by needing to be able to build Propellor on all the hosts you manage. On the other hand, Ansible is able to operate without installing extra software on your target hosts, but instead it ends up very latency-bound which can cause problems when your managed hosts are "far away".
I have considered CFEngine, Chef, Puppet and Salt in addition to the above mentioned options, but none of them feel quite right to me. I am looking for a way to manage a small number of hosts, at least one of which is not always online (my laptop) and all of which are essentially snowflakes whose sparkleybits I want some reasonable control over.
I have a few basic requirements which I worry would be hard to meet -- I want to be able to make changes to my hosts by editing a file and committing/pushing it to a git server. I want to be able to manage a host entirely over SSH from one or more systems, ideally without having to install the orchestration software on the target host, but where if the software is present it will get used to accelerate matters. I don't want to have to install Ruby or PHP on any system in order to have orchestration, and some of the systems I wish to manage simply can't compile Haskell stuff sanely. I'm not desperately interested in learning yet more DSLs, but I appreciate that it will be necessary, but I really don't want to have to learn more than one DSL simply to run one frameworks.
I don't want to have to learn strange and confusing combinations of file formats. For example, Ansible quite sensibly uses YAML for its structured data except for its host/group lists. It uses Jinja2 for its templating and looping, except for some things which it generates its own looping constructs inside its YAML. I also personally find Ansible's sportsball oriented terminology to be confusing, but that might just be me.
So what I'm hoping is that someone will be able to point me at a project which combines all the wonderful features of the above, with a need to learn only one DSL and which doesn't require to be installed on the managed host but which can benefit from being so installed, is driven from git, and won't hurt my already overly burdened brain.
Dear Lazyweb, pls. kthxbye.